


How the moon craves the ocean

by Justme_iguess



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:23:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13731126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justme_iguess/pseuds/Justme_iguess
Summary: "With an active desire to do me harm"





	How the moon craves the ocean

"Oh, you are so _insufferable_ _."_ his teeth are bared, and he's so angry that he can feel it in his chest. "I had to do it! I couldn't just let you die!"

 

Juno looks almost even more angry. "I am _more than willing to die_ for other people!"

 

"Well I'm not willing to let that happen, Juno!"

 

He throws his chest back, and gets in Nureyev's face. His finger jabs at his chest, and he's looking up at him almost like he _hates_ him. As though the very idea that his life could ever be worth something is morally wrong somehow. Like his life is nothing, like its a waste. "Well, it isn't your choice, now is it?!"

 

At that, anger surged through him. His brows furrow, and suddenly he can't compartmentalize anything anymore. He yells loudly enough that he's sure that all the other apartments in this place can hear every word. "You are _ridiculous!_ You say you care so much for people's lives, but when will you give your own any thought?!" Peter steps forwards, bending down a little to get into his  face back.

 

Juno flinches hard enough to fall into the table, and then topples onto the floor. His arms are up reflexively, and he looks so much smaller than before.

 

Somehow, all of Nureyev's anger dissipates. He's so confused, because he and Juno have a very solid bond of trust. Juno knows that Peter would never hurt him, no matter what. Its a fact. Set in stone, _and they both knew it so well._ Or at least, Nureyev thought so. "Juno," he kneels next the him, and excavates both his arms from his face. "Juno, I'm never going to hurt you."

 

"What?" he looks genuinely confused, with suspicion crawling onto his face. "But- I- why?" he almost seems disappointed. It seems, he's used to people hurting him anytime it got rough, but he doesn't know how to deal with _this_ _._

 

"Because I love you too much for that, dear. That isn't any way to solve an argument."

 

Juno is sitting up now, his brows furrowed in thought. "I just- _what?_ "

 

Suddenly Peter's anger is back. Not at Juno this time, but at all the people that must have hurt him before. So much that when someone doesn't, he's honestly confused. Why? The concept that Peter would never hurt him is so foreign, and why has he been hurt that much before? He has to stay calm. Juno is scared, and it's obvious, so someone in this situation has to lead the conversation.

 

"Juno, what's wrong?"

 

He gestures around himself helplessly. "I don't know." he admits. "I guess I just haven't been with someone who isn't going to kick my teeth in. And you said like, never? That's so weird."

 

"I think that's hardly any way to have a relationship, Juno."

 

"I don't understand."

 

Peter promises to help him understand what its like. What its like to have a healthy relationship without any violence.

 

-

 

That what he does. During sex he's careful with him at most times. He shows him that there can be love intertwined between them. It can be soft, and slow. Peter shows him how tenderness feels. How it is to be held, that Juno can have that.

 

And even when they do get rough, he always makes sure that Juno is happy. That the pain won't hurt him, and that he can say when he needs a break. Aftercare is new to Juno as well. Running fingers through his curls, and giving him kisses. Soft, tender touches. Tells him he loves him as much as he can.

 

Juno learns how to be intimate. He teaches Juno that he can be more than a sex toy. That he is a beautiful human being that deserves love and affection.

 

He shows him what domesticity feels like. He shows him how to try.

 

Even after all of that, though, Juno still gets confused sometimes. Drawing circles on the insides of his arms, or trickling his fingers on his waist. Stroking his jailing tenderly in the faint light of the mornings.

 

Peter can't magically fix all of Juno's worries, but he can help his lover get there by himself.


End file.
